Your Secret Desire to Be a Superhero
Come on. Be honest. Deep down, at least once, you’ve fantasized about being a superhero, haven’t you? (It’s okay. You’re among friends here. Besides, the first step to dealing with your latent superhero issue is to admit that you have the desire.) And, since Halloween is just right around the corner, your annual opportunity to act upon that superhero impulse of yours is approaching fast. So don’t blow it. In fact, here to help you choose a cool superhero costume for 2011 is none other than Voice Over Man, a new superhero whose awesome ability allows him to narrate the lives of complete strangers from a distance, particularly over the Internet.
Enter Voice Over Man with His Super-Narration Abilities
Voice Over Man: One person. (That would be you.) One holiday. (That would be Halloween.) One chance – to get the costume right. On October 31st, Superhero costumes for kids get all grown up. Because that one person, (you again) taps into the superhero deep inside to become one of these awesome avengers for the forces of good.
1 Captain America
Yes, the big boy in the good old red, white and blue is back and armed with the world’s baddest trash can lid. This fall, bob for apples while keeping an eye open for Nazis. (Who make really great trash can lid targets.)
If there are no Nazis at your Halloween event, (or you get there late and find that they’ve already been vanquished by some other superhero who got there before you), your shield makes a great serving tray, allowing you to work the party and strike up a conversation with that special thirsty someone.
2 Superman
True, the man of steel has grown a bit hoary for our go-go tempo in 2011, but, even at his ripe old age, he can still outrun a speeding train. (That is, if America even had speeding trains anymore.) Anyway, his old age aside, it takes some major cajones to hang out in a bright red cape with your matching underwear on the outside. In short, a Superman costume is like a black party dress, simply something that will never go out of style.
3 Megamind
This is a fun one for those of you who are quick of wit and sharp of tongue. Further, due to Megamind’s difficult upbringing, he can play both the evil and the good guy, essentially doubling your repertoire of classic superhero clichés at the Halloween party.
4 Secret Agent Types
For those of you who like to keep it elegant and still claim you have a costume on, consider going as a secret agent. While technically not superheroes per se, a 007-type is essentially as invincible against the bad guys if you ad up the movie victories over the last fifty years. For men, one danger of going to a party in a tux is that you may be mistaken for a waiter and people will ask you for drinks. Resolve the issue by taping a loudly ringing cell phone in your shoe and answer it every so often by taking it off and placing it to your ear. For women, the danger is that you’ll look so hot that any Wonder Woman at the party, see below, will become intensely jealous of you.
5 Wonder Women
This outfit sort of speaks for itself. On October 31st, arrive at your chosen party in your invisible plane and bring along that golden lasso to catch any superhero of your choice; no doubt, the fellows will want to stand still for you.
6 Cat Woman
But perhaps you’re more of a female superhero with an edgy side. In that case, consider costuming up as Cat Woman. Although the last movie to feature Cat Woman was universally reviled, you (along with some help from Anne Hathaway) can bring some class back into this costume.
7 Big Bird
Finally, superheroes don’t have to be tough and violent to be true superheroes. Therefore, consider costuming up as Big Bird, a master of conflict resolution. While there is a need for such a superhero among us everyday, a Big Bird comes in particularly useful on Halloween when children squabble about who got the most candy. So don your yellow feathers, Big Bird, destiny is calling.
